In this episode, I’m joined by Maria from Firefly Hypnotherapy. She’s a certified clinical hypnotherapist and we discuss how hypnotherapy can help with menopause symptoms. Maria explains that hypnotherapy combines talking therapy with hypnosis and how it’s all based on neuroscience. She goes on to highlight how it’s important to understand how our brain functions so we can use this to our advantage and positively impact our emotions and behaviours.
We also talk about the effects of menopause on mental health, like increased anxiety and low mood and how hypnotherapy and simple diet and lifestyle changes can improve not just our mood but our sleep patterns and overall well-being too.
Key points we talk about:
- Hypnotherapy is a combination of talking therapy and hypnosis, underpinned by neuroscience.
- Understanding how the brain works can help individuals be kinder to themselves and make positive changes.
- Menopause can lead to heightened anxiety and low mood and hypnotherapy can help alleviate these symptoms.
- Improving sleep patterns is crucial for mental health during menopause and hypnotherapy can be effective in achieving better sleep.
- Simple lifestyle changes, such as staying hydrated and practicing positive thinking, can have a significant impact on menopause symptoms
Transcript
Julie Essex Menopause Coach (00:00)
Hello everyone and welcome back to another episode of Transform Your Menopause. Today I’m super excited to have Maria joining me from Firefly Hypnotherapy. Maria is a certified clinical hypnotherapist and psychotherapist based in Ingatestone. She enjoys working with clients all over the world, adults and children alike.
and enjoys empowering them to overcome stress, anxiety, trauma and low self -esteem. Now, Maria and I share a love of festivals, good music and sunsets, so she was a natural choice to have on the podcast. Like many of us, her life changed when lockdown came along and this acted as a catalyst for Maria to take the leap into hypnotherapy.
Today we’ll talk about how hypnotherapy can support you with your menopause symptoms and as always make sure you listen to the end so you can get her freebie. So let’s welcome Maria. Hi Maria, it’s good to have you.
Maria Sanders (01:07)
Thanks very much for having me. I’m excited to be here.
Julie Essex Menopause Coach (01:23)
So Maria, let’s talk a little bit about you and what got you here and well you’ve got quite a lengthy career and background in wellness anyway so maybe you might want to start there and tell us a little bit about that.
Maria Sanders (01:47)
Sure, sure. Well, I’ve always been fascinated with people and what makes them tick. I studied sociology at university and that included psychology and philosophy. And then, yeah, basically I mainly predominantly worked in the health and wellbeing industry. I worked, I ran a big show called The Vitality Show, which was a massive show, across four days, attracted like over 33 ,000 women. And worked, and I loved it, I loved it. I worked with Bupa and Holland and Barrett.
Neals Yard Remedies and all sorts of wonderful brands and really really loved it but then I had a child and I tried to go back working sort of in four days but actually working five days but I found that it just didn’t really work for me. So I braved it and decided to go freelance and again working predominantly in the health and wellbeing industry I worked with a breast cancer charity as a consultant for many years.
and I also work for the wonderful charity that is Mind, the mental health charity. And like you said, then lockdown happened and that was a massive catalyst for me. Like many, many people I think, I suffered from sort of low mood in lockdown. I didn’t have a sort of a freelance project at the time.
Maria Sanders (03:25)
Yeah, so I was home schooling. Can’t say I particularly enjoyed home schooling, but I did it all the same. And yeah, it was just a real time for reflection as I’m sure it’s for lots and lots of people. And I just realised that while I’d really been loving freelancing, it wasn’t really working for me anymore. I wanted to do something on a much deeper personal level. And I’m quite sensitive. I’m a good listener.
and I’m very empathetic and I just thought I’d utilize those skills and so I started to look into various different therapies and looked to be a therapist and then one of my friends was basically had just finished studying hypnotherapy and become a certified hypnotherapist herself and we were chatting and it was just like a light bulb moment and I was like my goodness this sounds like the perfect thing for me so we didn’t have very much time together but we did one session so
rather than focusing on my mental health, which was probably what I should have done at the time, and we focused just on sugar because there was just a one session. I’ve got a real sweet tooth and I absolutely love chocolate. So, and I really wanted to stop like eating sugar. So she did a session on me and it was just so powerful. We’ve got this drawer, we’ve got this drawer in the kitchen. The boys call it the drawer. Biscuits, chocolate, you name it. And yeah, after that session, I used to go up to the drawer, just open it and just think.
Julie Essex Menopause Coach (04:40)
I know loads of people have got that drawer
Maria Sanders (04:51)
No, I don’t want it. Shut it again. So I just realised like how powerful it was and yeah, and then basically decided to train as a hypnotherapist and I haven’t looked back and I absolutely love it. And I think that this is, you know, it’s never too late to have a career change. And I definitely think I found my purpose. I absolutely love it. I’m really passionate about it.
even when I’m not working, I’m kind of working because I’m reading or listening up to a podcast because I just find it all so fascinating and I think it’s brilliant. Yeah. And I’ve recently also had hypnotherapy for, interestingly enough, for coming on podcasts and doing live and public speaking like this.
Julie Essex Menopause Coach (05:33)
It obviously works because you’re doing a great job.
Maria Sanders (05:38)
Thank you. Yeah, so yeah, so that’s basically how I became a Hypnotherapist.
Julie Essex Menopause Coach (05:45)
Yeah, I was interested about you saying about the light bulb moment. I think you’ve got to have that kind of passion, haven’t you? When you’re working on your own like this and working one -to -one with clients. On such a personal level, you’ve got to have that kind of drive, haven’t you, to want to really help that person. Okay, so tell me a little bit about hypnotherapy, how hypnotherapy works then.
Maria Sanders (05:55)
Yeah.
Absolutely.
Sure, so there’s lots of different types of hypnotherapy. I’m a solution -focused hypnotherapist. So that is basically a combination of talking therapy and hypnosis, which is enhanced by hypnosis. And the talking therapy includes elements of CBT, cognitive behavioural therapy, NLP, which is neuro -linguistic programming. And it’s all underpinned by neuroscience as well. So yeah, there’s lots and lots of…
myths around what hypnosis is though, isn’t there? And it’s just a really, really deep, deep state of relaxation, basically. It’s a trance. We all kind of go in and out of trance all the time. I don’t know if you’ve ever kind of driven on that regular route, maybe the school run or something, and you got to your destination and you thought, my God, I don’t even realise how I got here. Well, basically you were in a trance. Your brain just went on to autopilot, conserve energy, and that’s basically just what a trance is.
Julie Essex Menopause Coach (06:59)
Yeah.
Yeah.
Maria Sanders (07:13)
People argue, you know, people always say, can you make me look like a chicken and can I control your mind? And they don’t realise it’s just a very, very natural state. And it’s normally the part of the session that my clients really enjoy the most because they just lie on the couch, close their eyes and just, yeah, enjoy it really. It’s just very relaxing.
Julie Essex Menopause Coach (07:31)
I was talking to my daughter about this actually just the other day about when she’s at school when she goes into a little bit of a trance or zones out so I was reading up about that’s a it’s not a bad thing that’s like your brain almost like assimilating and learning or you’re taking like absorbing that information that you’ve been learning.
Maria Sanders (07:51)
Yeah, daydreaming. Daydreaming was always kind of frowned upon, wasn’t it? But actually, daydreaming is really, really good for you. We all need to do a little bit of daydreaming, definitely. Yeah, it’s just…
Julie Essex Menopause Coach (08:00)
I’ll plan a bit more of that into my day then. So how long does a session actually last then?
Maria Sanders (08:09)
So a session lasts an hour and it’s basically underpinned by neuroscience. So I do talk about how the brain works with my clients because when you understand how the brain works, you understand why you feel the way you do. And a lot of my clients sort of come in and they’re kind of beating themselves up a little bit because they’re feeling anxious or they’re stuck in these negative sort of cycles of loop cycles. And,
And once they understand how their brain works, they realise that actually it’s perfectly normal to kind of get stuck in what we call the primitive brain, which is, which is back here. Some people call it the chimp brain. Some people call it the reptilian brain. But yeah, so I explained to them that part of the brain and basically the primitive brain is the emotional subconscious part of the brain. And its main priority is kind of our safety and our survival. So.
it’s attached to the limbic system and it kind of runs all our autonomic processes like our heart beating and us breathing etc. And yeah, but it’s quite a negative part of the brain and it’s basically where we feel anxious or depressed or angry. And yeah, so I just help them understand that they need to be living more in their prefrontal cortex which is basically the conscious, intelligent, logical, rational, positive part of the brain.
And when people are suffering from anxiety or low mood or et cetera, they are living more in that primitive brain. And that primitive brain we share with our ancestors from thousands and thousands of years ago, and it hasn’t actually changed in all that time. And so I think once they understand that, once they understand that it’s perfectly normal to kind of get stuck in this loop, and it’s quite easy to reprogram them, then that also really helps them as well.
Julie Essex Menopause Coach (09:54)
Well, also as well, I’m just thinking as you’re talking, it’s that removing the kind of the behaviour from the person, isn’t it? It’s not something that’s wrong with them. It’s not something they’re doing. So it kind of removes them, isn’t it? It’s less personal. This is something that is the way your brain works and this is how we can change it.
Maria Sanders (10:10)
Absolutely and that part of the brain doesn’t really know the difference between real or imagined and sometimes we can get so stuck in our head we forget that all of the thoughts that we are thinking aren’t actually facts, some of them are imagined and I think once you are stuck in quite a bad place it is quite hard to get out of that but I think once you understand that then that really helps.
Julie Essex Menopause Coach (10:40)
Yeah, we talk about that sometimes actually with some of my clients about how you go about phrasing things to yourself, because exactly what you’re saying about your brain not differentiating between what’s real and what’s not. And I think sometimes when we’re talking about behaviour change,
Maria Sanders (10:50)
Yeah.
Julie Essex Menopause Coach (11:02)
like the part of the work when I do is we’re almost like giving ourselves like a list of instructions to follow to bring about that change. An example I always use is like you’re never ever saying I will try and eat that bar of chocolate or I will try and drink that bottle of wine. You say you will. So it’s almost like when we’re like setting new goals with clients, and they’ll be like, yeah, I’ll try and do that. And it’s like, no, no.
Maria Sanders (11:21)
Yeah.
Julie Essex Menopause Coach (11:31)
You’ve already setting yourself up for failure. Let’s turn that, let’s make this a positive statement to make sure it’s going to happen.
Maria Sanders (11:36)
Absolutely. Absolutely. Yeah, how you talk to yourself is so important and the language you use is so important as well. Yeah, because your brain is listening to everything you’re telling it. And so, yeah, it’s kind of dulling that inner critic that we all have and just being a lot kinder to yourself. For sure.
Julie Essex Menopause Coach (11:55)
these little subtle changes isn’t it that people don’t realise that’s going on.
Maria Sanders (11:58)
Yes, absolutely. Yeah, but make massive changes. They’re small but they make a big difference.
Julie Essex Menopause Coach (12:05)
Yeah, so how many sessions would someone really need to have with you then to make a difference, so if we’re talking about anxiety, we’ve spoken about anxiety quite a few times, so if we kind of focus on that bit, how many sessions would they really need to have with you to kind of bring about a desired outcome?
Maria Sanders (12:16)
Sure.
Yeah, normally about eight to 12 sessions. So that’s across. I try to see them for one hour every week consecutively. We can have a week off, but generally I need to see the most weeks. And I say an absolute minimum of six, but the average is eight to 12. So actually, if you think about it, it’s actually quite a quick and effective therapy really compared to a lot of other therapies that take a lot longer. And that’s just because you’re tapping into that subconscious as well. So it’s quite powerful.
Julie Essex Menopause Coach (12:50)
Yeah, weekly, that’s quite intensive as well, isn’t it? So, you know, that’s quite an intense, like short space of time, as you say, but again, intensive amount of work to bring about that result. Do they have to do any homework in between seeing you? Or is it just they come to the session, do their stuff with you and then go away? How does that work?
Maria Sanders (13:00)
Absolutely, yeah.
Yeah, they do. There’s certain things that we talk about. So it’s a kind of because it’s solution focused, it’s all about kind of where you want to be in the future and setting goals and looking at where you want to be in your future. So yes, they did. We talk about that. So there might be some sort of action point that they’ll be doing potentially that week in between. And also just looking at the positives in life as well, kind of like a sort of gratitude journal. But it’s we call it a what’s been good journal.
because positive thinking is so much research and science behind it now and it can just affect your whole body makeup. It increases those feel -good chemicals, decreases those stress hormones and because our brains are wired on the sort of negative bias then those positive thinking just counteracts those negative thoughts that we tend to have. I think we have nine negative thoughts for every one positive thought or something crazy like that so they do that and they also listen to my hypnosis track in between sessions as well.
So, yeah.
Julie Essex Menopause Coach (14:11)
of course you’ll be giving details of your hypnosis track at the end for listeners to take away so that’s something to look forward to. So how is it any different when it becomes to perimenopause and menopause? Does that change the way that you structure your sessions or is it the same?
Maria Sanders (14:21)
Yeah.
I think it’s some of the same and a little bit different because I think obviously depending on what people are coming before them or have different conversations around that, you know, I’m basically perimenopausal myself. I’m turning 50 this year and I know, so I know what it’s like is also in other times sort of reflection and change and re -evaluation.
You know, we’ve got that imbalance in our hormones. Haven’t we? We’ve got the decrease in oestrogen. We’ve got potentially teenage children, which I have, aging parents sometimes, you know, a demanding job and then all of the other things. And I think also at this time of life, we just productivity is kind of almost a badge of honour, isn’t it? Being busy is like a badge of honour. And actually, yeah.
Julie Essex Menopause Coach (15:19)
We’re spinning all the plates, aren’t we? And then as you say, when someone stops you in the street, you know, and they say, how are you? And you’re like, busy. If you were to say, well, actually, I’ve had a really relaxing week. I’ve had my feet up on the sofa. Yeah, I’m not sure it would go down quite as well, would it?
Maria Sanders (15:28)
Yeah, yeah, and I…
No, I know, but we’ve got it all wrong, haven’t we? And also, you know, basically, women that are going through perimenopause and menopause are four times more likely to suffer from low mood and anxiety or panic attacks than women under 45. And I think that, you know, we talk about hot flushes and all that, I mean, there’s so many symptoms, aren’t there? But I don’t know if anxiety and low mood is talked about as much as all the other symptoms, but…
Maria Sanders (16:05)
The oestrogen level really affects our field of chemicals and our production of serotonin. It affects our brain function. It affects our amygdala, which is like the emotional centre part of our brain. It also affects the hippocampus, which is the memory part of our brain. So that’s why we have these low moods. That’s why we forget things. We can’t forget people’s names. We can’t locate the simple, can we? I suffer from that all the time.
Julie Essex Menopause Coach (16:29)
I do the, can you get the thing from the thing? And I think that actually that in itself can cause quite a bit of anxiety, can’t it? When you can’t remember. And I think it’s, we put that pressure on ourselves. Yeah, but all that is if you just take a deep breath, take a breath, just pause and just kind of give yourself some time to gather your thoughts, it will come. But interesting.
Maria Sanders (16:43)
Yeah, could you just think what’s wrong with me? Yeah, absolutely.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Julie Essex Menopause Coach (16:57)
was saying as well about losing oestrogen’s protective effects and the brain because we’ve also got that in the gut as well so our microbiome takes a bit of a dip a bit of a hit when oestrogen’s declining and of course you’ve got that brain axis and the connection with you know moods and all the rest of it like anxiety in particular so working on that aspect is really super important as well so it’s all connected isn’t it?
Maria Sanders (17:11)
Yeah.
Absolutely.
It is all connected completely and I think basically what we have to do at this age is just work incredibly hard to get those serotonin levels higher because of the lack of them due to oestrogen and it’s just a transition period as well, isn’t it? So I think also with the brain, it’s just being kind and supportive and I think once you understand what’s going on in your brain, then you’re a lot kinder to yourself and also realising that it’s just a transition.
and that your brain’s really clever and eventually it does kind of work itself out and naturally your cognitive function is exactly the same as it was before but it’s just that transition period where you could get things and you’ve got brain fog and you’re just not as sharp potentially as you were but I think just knowing that that is just a temporary phase is also quite helpful as well.
Julie Essex Menopause Coach (18:13)
Yeah, knowing that it’s temporary, but also there’s quite a lot you can do about it. So like you were saying about, some really simple solutions because that forms the basis of all of my work. It’s like really simple, straightforward solutions. Because I think that…
Maria Sanders (18:17)
Yeah.
Yeah.
Julie Essex Menopause Coach (18:31)
the wellness industry is completely over complicated, menopause and kind of suckered us all into thinking that we need to go and buy that expensive supplement or we need to go and follow this fad diet to feel better. But really, it’s the simplest of things that make such a huge difference. So even things like making sure you’re drinking enough.
Maria Sanders (18:47)
Yeah.
Yeah.
Julie Essex Menopause Coach (18:57)
in itself, like if you’re getting to a point in your afternoon where you can’t think straight, you know, you’ve been working at your desk for ages and you’ve just completely lost your way, going to have a glass of water and coming back to it 20 minutes later, kind of such a big impact. I think there was a study that came out, let me try to think what it was in it. So it was of, it’s quite a recent one, so it was all middle -aged people.
And they found that just mild dehydration from everyday activities, so not like going down the gym and everything, just getting up and going to work and doing the usual things, led to, I can’t remember what the percentage was, but it was that mild dehydration led to reduce attention span and focus. So just going to have a glass of water, you know, get a cup of…
Maria Sanders (19:38)
Yeah.
Absolutely, absolutely. And it’s like you say, it’s even more important, isn’t it? Because our brains are kind of going through that transition period, then rehydrating is even more important because, yeah, it can affect us and our brains are made up of water. So, yeah.
Julie Essex Menopause Coach (20:08)
Yeah, we can’t hold as much water as we’re going through this stage of life as well. So we might have got away with it. I think that’s what a lot of people have done, haven’t they, they’ve been getting away with it for years. But then you get to this stage and you’re like, there’s no getting away with it anymore, is it? You’ve got to bring it all together and make it work. Okay.
Maria Sanders (20:19)
Yeah.
Absolutely. Yeah, and that’s the other thing as well, I think, isn’t it? We’re so busy that we sort of feel like we haven’t got time to sort of do those extra self -cares, drinking water, looking after ourselves, moving, whatever it might be to make ourselves feel better. But actually at this life stage, it’s a necessity. It’s not a luxury. It’s an absolute necessity.
Julie Essex Menopause Coach (20:43)
Yeah, you have to prioritise it, you have to carve out that time. I think we can be a bit like martyrs, can’t we? I haven’t got time, but you know, we can do it if we want to. Okay, so are there any particular clients that you’ve been thinking about that you want to kind of use as an example at all? Or?
Maria Sanders (20:50)
Sure.
Yeah.
Yeah, I mean, I’ve worked with a couple of clients that are going through menopause and one particular client had heightened anxiety off the back of it. She’d struggled with anxiety and low mood sort of pretty much throughout her life and then hit menopause and it was heightened even further. And she just couldn’t find the joy in life anymore really. So she wasn’t in a great place. But…
Yeah, through working together, working together on sort of eight sessions, she drastically improved. Her sleep wasn’t great as well. Obviously that’s also by one of the symptoms is insomnia, isn’t it? Another lovely symptom. And she was sleeping better and just happier. She was even socializing with work colleagues that she hadn’t wanted to do before.
She started exercising again, she started trying new hobbies and yeah she was just a completely different person when we finished so that was really really lovely to see.
Julie Essex Menopause Coach (22:11)
It’s so rewarding as well when, because it’s saying like, I see this with my own clients as well, in a relatively short space of time, how different their life can become. You know, we talk about getting back to your old self, but it’s almost it’s better than your old self, I think.
Maria Sanders (22:13)
So rewarding.
Absolutely.
Yeah, yeah, yeah, that’s that’s one of the joys. I just love I’ve loved watching the transformation and in my clients. Yeah, another lady had…
Maria Sanders (22:41)
insomnia and then she started sort of getting anxious about going to sleep because she knew she couldn’t sleep and then she got stuck in this sort of vicious cycle and so yeah I always talk about sleep and how important sleep is it’s kind of literally the foundation of mental health isn’t it and just helping her without getting her sleep patterns working more efficiently and that just dramatically improved her mood and made her feel so much better.
it’s that REM part of the sleep cycle that’s just so important because it kind of processes everything. It moves it from the primitive brain into the prefrontal cortex and like takes all the emotion out of it. And when you’re not getting all that sleep, you’re not getting that REM sleep that you need. And then yeah, you’re more likely to be in that sort of anxious part of your brain, the chimp brain. So yeah, so working on.
Julie Essex Menopause Coach (23:28)
Yeah, it’s quite easy. But sometimes probably the same as you. Sometimes I talk to clients and they say, well, my sleep’s fine. But when you actually say, well, do you wake up feeling rested? It’s a completely different story, isn’t it? OK, so if all of this has got you interested in learning a bit more about Maria.
Maria Sanders (23:39)
Yeah.
Yeah, yeah.
Julie Essex Menopause Coach (23:53)
or working with her or how she can support you, then she has got a lovely treat waiting for you on her website. If you go over to fireflyhypnotherapy .co .uk, you can download a free hypnosis track. So I might even go and do that myself, Maria, listen to that before bed later. But you can also…
Maria Sanders (24:14)
Lovely. I listen to it for stress relief too.
Julie Essex Menopause Coach (24:20)
You can also check Maria out over on Instagram which is firefly underscore hypnotherapy and I think that’s it. Is there anything you want to add before we go?
Maria Sanders (24:34)
I don’t think so. I mean, I also listen to hypnosis tracks before I go to sleep and it really, really helps me quieten that anxious brain. It kind of dives down the beta brainwave and yeah, it’s a good tool to have in your toolbox to be able to listen to that when you want to really make sure that you get a really good night’s sleep. And just, yeah, thanks very much for having me.
Julie Essex Menopause Coach (24:55)
you’ve been a lovely guest and thanks for all your patience while we got this sorted out and going. Anyway, so thanks so much for your time, Maria, and all your lovely insights. Thanks for everyone else for tuning in and listening. Until next time, bye.